I can't believe I am leaving in exactly one week! Time has seriously flown by. So far my experience here has been incredible. I have learned a lot about everything. As I reflect during my last week, I have to admit this was a much more personal journey than I initially expected. A lot of elements have played a part in my study abroad experience. Take for example, the courses I took, the school I attended, the program I applied to, the host family I was given, where I lived in town, the french and international people I've met, the internship I was given, my co-workers I've met, the places I've traveled, the stories and events that occurred during these travels, the nights I went out, the food I ate and in general the choices I've made. As you can see, the list could go on forever. I don't know if I can say I have made some lifelong friends from this experience. I've certainly met a lot of people and have had fun with people I've interacted with but I guess my personal connection is tied to Aix itself and my host family. In these past couple of months, I have grown to adore Aix. It has become a part of who I am. Others, in my program say that Aix is too small or there isn't enough to do but I take Aix in its entirety. It's an adorable, small and ancient city that dates back before the Romans. The narrow roads, the roman influence, the history in its buildings and monuments, the bread, the markets, the people, the culture, the attitude, the youthful and international environment, the parks, the bakeries and pastry shops, the smell of Aix, the weather and everything else. Aix has become a home away from home and I take that very seriously. Every time I traveled else where, I was relieved to be back in Aix. I like familiarity, comfort, a sense of belonging and of course warmer weather! I am extremely sad to be leaving Aix but I know I will be returning soon. I have that intuitive feeling that it's going to happen, whether I make it happen or it occurs by happenstance. Either way, I will be returning to my home away from home.
I never really experienced culture shock when I first came here. Sure I was overwhelmed when I first arrived because everything was new, I was exhausted and I had to adjust to the language barrier. Other than that, I wasn'toverwhelmed by the cultural differences between the US and France. Believe it or not, there are a lot of cultural differences, taboos and faux pas between these two countries and when I think about these differences, it makes me admire and appreciate each country by itself. I think I will be forever loyal to the US and now France. I could definitely see myself living in France in the future.
I think I was the most home sick during the month of October. A lot was going on back home that I had to deal with and manage from an ocean away. October was probably my worst month here in Aix. However, I came to realize that I can't control everything especially since I am an ocean away. I had to let some things take their course and manage what was in my control. That's one of the valuable lessons I have become more conscious of. I am not saying I learned from this lesson because I am still learning. Not everything is in my control, some circumstances are truly uncontrollable and unforeseen. This is also relative to the saying that "life isn't fair". I think life is made of chances, uncontrollable circumstances and personal decisions. Of course, personal decisions are big factors in a person's life. You do have a lot of control over your life and your decisions do affect other decisions and of course other people, but those chances and uncontrollable circumstances can affect your personal decisions too. Basically, everything affects everything.
There's always this question about whether a person can change. Are they changes in attitudes, morals, beliefs, perspective or personality? To what degree are these changes? Are they modifications or a complete 180? What factors cause these changes? These are questions that have been asked for forever it seems and there's no definite answer. In my opinion, I believe it depends on the person and circumstance on whether they can change or want to change. Thus this leads me to ask myself if I have changed as a person. I think my morals and beliefs are still the same. I haven't had a revelation or a radical change in my thinking towards religion, morals and values. I think my personality is still the same. I do think my attitude on life has been altered though. I can definitely say I have become wiser. I can definitely say I know what kind of people I want to surround myself with. I can definitely say I look at life with a more open mind. I can say I have been enlightened by traveling through out Europe and meeting people. I can definitely say I have learned a lot from the courses I took. I know how to manage my money better while abroad. I know not to visit as many countries in a weekend or a fall break. I know that communication is an essential part of a relationship, a job and duh life! I know you must try something new or always try something new.
Life is complicated, everyone knows that. I have had my ups and downs while studying abroad. I have felt lonely, sad, self-conscious, nervous, anxious, stupid, stubborn, bitchy, frustrated and angry but I have also felt extremely happy, thankful, satisfied, excited, grateful, youthful, helpful, intelligent, enlightened, privileged, relaxed, embarrassed, strong and independent.
I still don't know what I want to do with my life but everything I've learned from this experience will most certainly play a part in where I end up in the future. The skills I've learned and everything I've observed and noticed are now a part of me. I can say I am more confident in myself. I am most certainly more independent. I realized that being by yourself and having alone time isn't a bad thing. BUT having people around you that you enjoy is very important. For me, I still need to find the balance of spending time with people I enjoy and spending time by myself. I am after all only 20...I don't know everything and I will not know everything. Yes mom, I JUST admitted that I don't know everything.
One last thing I want to add. As I said, life is complicated and personal decisions are influential factors in Life. There is a lot of tragedy, hurt, sadness, anger, violence and insanity. Personal decisions can cause all this chaos, disaster and inhumane acts but personal decisions can also change these negative aspects. The power a human holds in their life and others lives is astronomical. In my optimistic outlook, change is very possible for a better Life.
I plan to write another reflection on my study abroad experience once I return to the US. I am so glad I decided to study abroad.
A plus,
Bethany
I never really experienced culture shock when I first came here. Sure I was overwhelmed when I first arrived because everything was new, I was exhausted and I had to adjust to the language barrier. Other than that, I wasn'toverwhelmed by the cultural differences between the US and France. Believe it or not, there are a lot of cultural differences, taboos and faux pas between these two countries and when I think about these differences, it makes me admire and appreciate each country by itself. I think I will be forever loyal to the US and now France. I could definitely see myself living in France in the future.
I think I was the most home sick during the month of October. A lot was going on back home that I had to deal with and manage from an ocean away. October was probably my worst month here in Aix. However, I came to realize that I can't control everything especially since I am an ocean away. I had to let some things take their course and manage what was in my control. That's one of the valuable lessons I have become more conscious of. I am not saying I learned from this lesson because I am still learning. Not everything is in my control, some circumstances are truly uncontrollable and unforeseen. This is also relative to the saying that "life isn't fair". I think life is made of chances, uncontrollable circumstances and personal decisions. Of course, personal decisions are big factors in a person's life. You do have a lot of control over your life and your decisions do affect other decisions and of course other people, but those chances and uncontrollable circumstances can affect your personal decisions too. Basically, everything affects everything.
There's always this question about whether a person can change. Are they changes in attitudes, morals, beliefs, perspective or personality? To what degree are these changes? Are they modifications or a complete 180? What factors cause these changes? These are questions that have been asked for forever it seems and there's no definite answer. In my opinion, I believe it depends on the person and circumstance on whether they can change or want to change. Thus this leads me to ask myself if I have changed as a person. I think my morals and beliefs are still the same. I haven't had a revelation or a radical change in my thinking towards religion, morals and values. I think my personality is still the same. I do think my attitude on life has been altered though. I can definitely say I have become wiser. I can definitely say I know what kind of people I want to surround myself with. I can definitely say I look at life with a more open mind. I can say I have been enlightened by traveling through out Europe and meeting people. I can definitely say I have learned a lot from the courses I took. I know how to manage my money better while abroad. I know not to visit as many countries in a weekend or a fall break. I know that communication is an essential part of a relationship, a job and duh life! I know you must try something new or always try something new.
Life is complicated, everyone knows that. I have had my ups and downs while studying abroad. I have felt lonely, sad, self-conscious, nervous, anxious, stupid, stubborn, bitchy, frustrated and angry but I have also felt extremely happy, thankful, satisfied, excited, grateful, youthful, helpful, intelligent, enlightened, privileged, relaxed, embarrassed, strong and independent.
I still don't know what I want to do with my life but everything I've learned from this experience will most certainly play a part in where I end up in the future. The skills I've learned and everything I've observed and noticed are now a part of me. I can say I am more confident in myself. I am most certainly more independent. I realized that being by yourself and having alone time isn't a bad thing. BUT having people around you that you enjoy is very important. For me, I still need to find the balance of spending time with people I enjoy and spending time by myself. I am after all only 20...I don't know everything and I will not know everything. Yes mom, I JUST admitted that I don't know everything.
One last thing I want to add. As I said, life is complicated and personal decisions are influential factors in Life. There is a lot of tragedy, hurt, sadness, anger, violence and insanity. Personal decisions can cause all this chaos, disaster and inhumane acts but personal decisions can also change these negative aspects. The power a human holds in their life and others lives is astronomical. In my optimistic outlook, change is very possible for a better Life.
I plan to write another reflection on my study abroad experience once I return to the US. I am so glad I decided to study abroad.
A plus,
Bethany