In a few weeks, I’ll be in Aix. I’m swimming in pre-departure emotions. I wish I could pinpoint them, tell you exactly how I’m feeling. Frankly, I’m terrified. How will I even talk to the locals? What if my host family can’t cook for vegetarians? What if my style is subpar for the French and the students in my program think I’m a weirdo from Minnesota? All of these are real fears.
But I have to believe that fear signifies marvelous rewards. Beyond this gate, and every gate in the world, lies a whole new chapter that I have yet to read, because I haven’t even written it yet. Naturally, my first reaction to the unknown is fear. But once you accept the fear that coincides with grand adventures, fear itself is invigorating.
As much as I’m afraid of my semester in Aix-en-Provence, I’m pining for the Mediterranean climate and the market and the new faces. I absolutely love my cozy college of two thousand students in St. Paul, Minnesota. Macalester College has inspired me to grow in so many directions. Nonetheless, I’m enthralled with the possibility of not recognizing every person with whom I cross paths and not having to bear the first few months of a frigid northern winter.
Beyond the pleasant climate and fresh faces, I’m looking forward to delving into a new language and a new culture. I’m incredibly lucky to be able to spend a semester in Europe. And I plan on mediating my privilege as a straight, upper-middle class British-American white girl throughout the next four months.
In the meantime, I’ll be packing my bags, trying to squeeze in all of my grandma sweaters while leaving enough room for change, and a few Parisian shopping sprees.
Here’s a glimpse into the fiasco that I call my suitcase:
1. Tender is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald
2. Cloth & Stone chambray shirt dress
3. Arrojo dry shampoo
4. My journal
5. AG Denim cutoffs
6. Cardinals memorabilia for my host family
7. On Beauty by Zadie Smith
8. Disposable cameras on disposable cameras on disposable cameras
9. Chloé Eau de Parfum (because every wannabe French girl must)
10. Beyoncé Live at Roseland DVD (Queen Bey forever)
Before I go, I’ll leave you with a quote by the brilliant Amy Poehler that has inspired me to jump wholeheartedly into my study abroad experience:
Great people do things before they’re ready. They do things before they know they can do it. And by doing it, they’re proven right. Because, I think there’s something inside of you—and inside of all of us—when we see something and we think, “I think I can do it, I think I can do it. But I’m afraid to.” Bridging that gap, doing what you’re afraid of, getting out of your comfort zone, taking risks like that—THAT is what life is. And I think you might be really good. You might find out something about yourself that’s special. And if you’re not good, who cares? You tried something. Now you know something about yourself. Now you know. A mystery is solved. So, I think you should just give it a try. Just inch yourself out of that back line. Step into life. Courage. Risks. Yes. Go. Now.
Bisous!
Lucy
xoxo