This summer has been a deep breath. The kind that you take before jumping into cold water or trying to describe how you really feel. I have no job, no internship, rien à faire. In my mind, the future’s high-pressure lifestyle flows into my current low-pressure zone. Hundreds of new acquaintances, thousands of new faces, places, and expressions fill moments that seem to consist only of flipping through channels of daytime television. Will some Provençale genius change my life? To which exact European coordinates will I swear to return? Je ne sais pas mais je me demande souvent.
Of course, I do have some responsibilities this summer, but they’re all preparation for my semester in Aix-en-Provence. All part of this deep breath. For instance, my visa application is a responsibility that has been much more arduous I expected. Things got pretty real when I missed my appointment at the consulate in Washington D.C. For anyone who shares my aversion to anticipating traffic: leave time for traffic. The hard-working employees at the French Embassy, however cool and/or sexy their accents may be, do not make exceptions for lateness. In my case, though, not only was I late, but I also arrived on the wrong day. This embarrassing mistake was a reality check. My summer’s deep breath threatened to choke me. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to reschedule my appointment for a date that would allow me to receive my visa in time for my flight, which would mean an expensive change of flight and a potentially refund-less withdrawal from IAU College’s Early Start Program. Luckily, someone else cancelled his or her appointment, which left an opening for me to apply for my visa far enough in advance of my flight. I realize now that this stressful episode could’ve been avoided if I’d understood the nature of this summer and of deep breaths in general. When we inhale to stabilize ourselves before the plunge, we may lose our grip on our immediate reality. Doing something productive each day, checking email, and, evidently, applying for my visa have all fallen by the wayside. I think my apathy may be the result of some subconscious understanding that in only a few years, I’ll remember this summer as a mere prelude to studying abroad. Regardless of the reason for my indolence, it needs to stop, so I’m trying to do something about it.
One of my new anti-apathy activities is reading Arthur Rimbaud’s Illuminations. My copy has both Rimbaud’s poetry and John Ashbery’s English translations, and transitioning back and forth between the languages has been a beautiful way to refresh some vocabulary. I’d recommend reading French poetry alongside English translations, and I’d more ardently recommend reading Illuminations in particular. One of the collection’s poems is called “Départ,” so I thought it was worth sharing:
Assez vu. La vision s’est rencontrée à tous les airs.
Assez eu. Rumeurs des villes, le soir, et au soleil, et toujours.
Assez connu. Les arrêts de la vie. --O Rumeurs et Visions!
Départ dans l’affection et le bruit neufs!
Of course, I do have some responsibilities this summer, but they’re all preparation for my semester in Aix-en-Provence. All part of this deep breath. For instance, my visa application is a responsibility that has been much more arduous I expected. Things got pretty real when I missed my appointment at the consulate in Washington D.C. For anyone who shares my aversion to anticipating traffic: leave time for traffic. The hard-working employees at the French Embassy, however cool and/or sexy their accents may be, do not make exceptions for lateness. In my case, though, not only was I late, but I also arrived on the wrong day. This embarrassing mistake was a reality check. My summer’s deep breath threatened to choke me. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to reschedule my appointment for a date that would allow me to receive my visa in time for my flight, which would mean an expensive change of flight and a potentially refund-less withdrawal from IAU College’s Early Start Program. Luckily, someone else cancelled his or her appointment, which left an opening for me to apply for my visa far enough in advance of my flight. I realize now that this stressful episode could’ve been avoided if I’d understood the nature of this summer and of deep breaths in general. When we inhale to stabilize ourselves before the plunge, we may lose our grip on our immediate reality. Doing something productive each day, checking email, and, evidently, applying for my visa have all fallen by the wayside. I think my apathy may be the result of some subconscious understanding that in only a few years, I’ll remember this summer as a mere prelude to studying abroad. Regardless of the reason for my indolence, it needs to stop, so I’m trying to do something about it.
One of my new anti-apathy activities is reading Arthur Rimbaud’s Illuminations. My copy has both Rimbaud’s poetry and John Ashbery’s English translations, and transitioning back and forth between the languages has been a beautiful way to refresh some vocabulary. I’d recommend reading French poetry alongside English translations, and I’d more ardently recommend reading Illuminations in particular. One of the collection’s poems is called “Départ,” so I thought it was worth sharing:
Assez vu. La vision s’est rencontrée à tous les airs.
Assez eu. Rumeurs des villes, le soir, et au soleil, et toujours.
Assez connu. Les arrêts de la vie. --O Rumeurs et Visions!
Départ dans l’affection et le bruit neufs!