Five. More. Days.  I don’t think it has completely hit me yet that I’ll be boarding a plane at Logan Airport next week and not coming back until the end of December.  I’ve never been away from my family this long and I know a grand total of three people in Aix-en-Provence, plus only a handful more in the entire country. Up until this point, I’ve been nothing but excited for my semester abroad.  However, now that my days at home are dwindling down, I’m starting to feel terrified.  

 After spending the past few days at BC with my older sister, Molly, I was almost convinced that I was, in fact, returning there for my fall semester.  Aside from the construction of Stokes Hall and the renovation of O’Neill Plaza (which both look beautiful, for the record), not much has changed since I left in May.  I ran my usual route around the Chestnut Hill Reservoir.  I met a friend to grab lunch at Eagle’s Nest and ordered my usual salad. Everything was just as it had always been until I ran into someone I knew and got the inevitable question, “where are you living this semester?”  This is when I was brought back to the reality that I’m really not coming back to BC.

I think one of the hardest parts about leaving is that I’m scared about what I’ll miss. The next four months of my life are a huge question mark and that’s what makes me so nervous.  However, I’m trying to look at it in a positive way.  If I didn’t love BC as much as I do, it wouldn’t be so hard to leave.  If I didn’t have such great people in my life, it wouldn’t be so difficult to say goodbye.  If I knew what the next four months would be like, it wouldn’t be nearly as exciting.  No matter how you look at it, I’m really, really lucky.

All emotions aside, next week is going to be crazy.  I still have one shift left at work, I haven’t started packing, and I’m putting off some last-minute goodbyes until this weekend. On Monday night, I’m flying to Paris with my aunt and spending four days seeing the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower, Versailles, and everything in between.  Looking ahead, I keep thinking to myself, “This is NOT real life.” Well, soon enough it will be!

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