This first week in Aix en Provence has been the week of culture shock. It truly is a whirlwind of cultural experiences, some refreshing and exciting while others have been uncomfortable and embarrassing. I find myself walking a weird line between cultures and my sense of identity. Sometimes I feel ashamed of my culture in moments of embarrassment and then in the next moment I miss my culture and all the things which I find sensible about the American way of life. It’s fair to say that Americans have many stereotypes about the French, that they are a snooty, deodorant avoiding people who hate Americans. It is also fair to say that the French have thier own stereotypes about us, that we are obese and wasteful people who are abnxious. Although I have been here for only one week I think I am starting to understand where this comes from on both sides. Here is a list of things I have learned about life in Aix en Provene:
1. From a very young age the French are groomed to act a certain way, and from that point on they are categorized as bien élevé or well raised. It is true of the stereotype that the French are jugdemental but only in the sense that doing culture right means a lot to them. This also means that failing to adhere to many cultural rules at the same time will come off as insulting to them. Those who do break cultural norms are categorized as mal élevé or not well raised which brings me to...
2. What is considered mal élevé? Well honestly I am not quite sure and I discover something new everyday. Yesterday, for example, it was my posture. In America it is impolite to put your elbows on the table while eating but not majorly so. Here not only is it impolite to put elbows on the table but also to put your hands in your lap at any point during the meal. To do either gesture signifies to your host that you are uninterested in the meal and thier company. The challenge is to be aware of your posture throughout dinner which often does not start until 8 p.m. and can last up to three hours.
3. The French hold two concepts very close to them: réserve and méfiance. Réserve translates to the same word in English or rather to hold yourself back. Americans are criticised because we are taught to do the opposite in a culture where extroversion and optimism are attractive. I was surprised at orientation when we were told not to smile. I had never realised it before but smiling is my reaction to everything, its the way I show the world I am an open, happy-go-lucky person. This does not impress the French. To smile all the time means you are either a.) American (Ding! Ding! Ding!) b.) looking for a good time, if you know what I mean, or c.) a weirdo. This is where méfiance comes in. Méfiance is kind of like skepticism with a mixture of pessimism. Basically the French are a little leery of everyone they meet so that is what the snootyness is based off of. BUT!....
4. The golden word to everyone to make them less suspicious of you is Bonjour. It’s that simple. Just saying a cheerful but not overtly animated bonjour madame or monsieur when walking into a shop will melt that icy facade of méfiance. Throw in a comment ca va?, try to speak any French and pay with exact change and you’ll probably make thier day.
5. Last and most important is to try to act French while being proud to be American. This is tricky and I am no where close to figuring it out. Yet, many French actually think the American accent is pretty the way many Americans like an English or Italian accent. I have learned that it is pointless to be ashamed of where I come from because that is all I know and quite frankly is who I am. I respect the French way of life and want to show them that, so I need to make some sacrifices. While French costums are complex and intimidating its okay to fumble through them and insult a couple people. They will get over it. For the next few months I am going to try and bridge the gap between the two cultures and use it to become a more respectful person. A little self awareness never hurt anymone. Bring on the awkward moments... Vive la France and ‘Merica!
1. From a very young age the French are groomed to act a certain way, and from that point on they are categorized as bien élevé or well raised. It is true of the stereotype that the French are jugdemental but only in the sense that doing culture right means a lot to them. This also means that failing to adhere to many cultural rules at the same time will come off as insulting to them. Those who do break cultural norms are categorized as mal élevé or not well raised which brings me to...
2. What is considered mal élevé? Well honestly I am not quite sure and I discover something new everyday. Yesterday, for example, it was my posture. In America it is impolite to put your elbows on the table while eating but not majorly so. Here not only is it impolite to put elbows on the table but also to put your hands in your lap at any point during the meal. To do either gesture signifies to your host that you are uninterested in the meal and thier company. The challenge is to be aware of your posture throughout dinner which often does not start until 8 p.m. and can last up to three hours.
3. The French hold two concepts very close to them: réserve and méfiance. Réserve translates to the same word in English or rather to hold yourself back. Americans are criticised because we are taught to do the opposite in a culture where extroversion and optimism are attractive. I was surprised at orientation when we were told not to smile. I had never realised it before but smiling is my reaction to everything, its the way I show the world I am an open, happy-go-lucky person. This does not impress the French. To smile all the time means you are either a.) American (Ding! Ding! Ding!) b.) looking for a good time, if you know what I mean, or c.) a weirdo. This is where méfiance comes in. Méfiance is kind of like skepticism with a mixture of pessimism. Basically the French are a little leery of everyone they meet so that is what the snootyness is based off of. BUT!....
4. The golden word to everyone to make them less suspicious of you is Bonjour. It’s that simple. Just saying a cheerful but not overtly animated bonjour madame or monsieur when walking into a shop will melt that icy facade of méfiance. Throw in a comment ca va?, try to speak any French and pay with exact change and you’ll probably make thier day.
5. Last and most important is to try to act French while being proud to be American. This is tricky and I am no where close to figuring it out. Yet, many French actually think the American accent is pretty the way many Americans like an English or Italian accent. I have learned that it is pointless to be ashamed of where I come from because that is all I know and quite frankly is who I am. I respect the French way of life and want to show them that, so I need to make some sacrifices. While French costums are complex and intimidating its okay to fumble through them and insult a couple people. They will get over it. For the next few months I am going to try and bridge the gap between the two cultures and use it to become a more respectful person. A little self awareness never hurt anymone. Bring on the awkward moments... Vive la France and ‘Merica!